Finding Enjoyment in The Powerful and Terrible.

Outfit Details

Tee - Target

Ruffle Blouse/Jacket - gifted from the Mum

Simple Black Skirt - Target? Maybe...

Red Tights - American Apparel

Lace Tights - Target

Seychelles Cuckoo Booties - Nordstrom Rack

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Some people have accused my tragedy of being too sad, as though one desired a merry tragedy. People clamor for enjoyment as though enjoyment consisted in being foolish. I find enjoyment in the powerful and terrible struggles of life; and the capability of experiencing something, of learning something, gives me pleasure.

- August Strindberg

Something to consider, if you feel so inclined. The quote really struck me as ringing true,  but maybe that's just me.

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I use the Post-It feature on my laptop quite often, because I spend so much time on the computer doing all that needs doing and if I didn't I'd probably lose track of the things I have yet to get done. Today, on this rather glorious December day, I have the shortest list I've had in ages.

As a result, I finally had time to sort through my backlogged outfit pictures and make an actual post. It feels good.

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In keeping with the recent trend, I have another excerpt from my novel below the cut. Feel free to hit "read more" and enjoy The One Where I Open my Mouth and Speak:

      It was a normal trip to Walmart, if going to that forsaken, forbidding place can be called normal. I mean, look at a Walmart sometime and tell me there isn’t something seriously wrong with wanting to go in there. But, nevertheless, it was a normal trip for me into Walmart.

      My mother and I bought cat litter, pudding and rice. If you were to ask me why it was we so urgently needed this particular mixture of things, I would hard pressed to provide a satisfactory answer. We’re a bit odd, that way. We once made a trip out to buy some socks and ended up with refried beans and marshmallow cream instead. You just have to suspend your disbelief and accept that we did, in fact, purchase cat litter, pudding and rice and we made a special trip to the Walmart to buy it.

       Now, I wouldn’t call myself an unsociable person by any means. I might not the most approachable person, and people often tell me that once they’ve gotten comfortable around me – but I’m not unsociable, really. I just don’t have the best memory, at all. I tend to forget people’s names and faces and end up looking bad when I try to respond to their “Hey Jenamarie!” with a “Hey there!.....You.”

      Which is basically what happened in Walmart, but worse. A boy and his mother noticed us in the check out line and he waved and said hello. I nodded politely, like “yes, yes, I acknowledge your existence, please for the love of God don’t say hello I have no clue who you are”.

       The boy was unable to detect the message in my nod, I think, because he was quite blind. Actually, very blind. Super blind. I didn’t notice until I’d made a fool of myself just how blind he was. The kid had a seeing eye dog that I failed to notice, a giant Labrador seeing eye dog…

       Anyway. He said, “Hey! You’re from my high school right?”

       At the time, I thought “AH HA. I’m in the clear, he doesn’t go to my school, he doesn’t actually know me, it’s all good!” So I respond with, “No, I don’t think so.”

       “Oh,” he says, “I guess you just sounded familiar.”

       “Oh,” I respond, like the idiot I am, “I just have one of those faces.”

        Yeah. I just have one of those faces that you typically confuse with other people you see. 

        There’s two problems with that statement. The first being that I don’t have “one of those faces”, because my face is rather distinctive and not easily confused with others. The second plainly obvious to anyone unlike me who happens to have a brain.

        I’m fairly certain his mother is plotting my death, for what she assumes was a smart remark. A comment that I made intentionally to offend her blind son and mock his disability. Yes. That’s me. The girl who inadvertently offends the blind and their mothers and all other people of the world.

        I should probably stop speaking entirely. I should also never be around people. 

        This is why I recommend you never go into Walmart. Only bad things can happen there.

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Until next time,

Jenna B.